How “We” came to be…

Posted on 3rd November 2011 in Personal

i’ve actually been meaning to post this for a few days now, but i’m grasping at what to write about for tonight’s essay and so i’m here to get my writerly juices flowing.

Master and i met online late August 2010. It was on a social networking site, rather vanilla, but intended for adults only. (i won’t say here what site it was, but if you ask, i will tell you privately. It’s not intended to be a dating site or anything, lol, though some people use it that way.) We struck up a nice casual relationship, flirting and chatting, commenting on each other’s pictures. He freely told me about His slave, and i was a single girl. Something about Him struck me…He was funny, charming, smart, and so open, unashamed of the fact that He was a Master. Time passed, and we were happy enough to continue along this path, neither of us thinking it was ever going to be anything but a casual relationship, as we passed one another online. We lived too far apart, we were both to shy to say we had deeper feelings, and i couldn’t chase after another girl’s man, open relationship or not. i got involved with someone for a short time, and Master backed off. That relationship turned out to be an abysmal failure all around, but i got reminded of what i really wanted.

Forward to May 2011…not long out of the failed relationship, i was about ready to give up on love completely. i was miserable, tired, and missing my favorite flirt partner. i posted up a few new pics, and hey! i got comments from my favorite person! (He always gave me the best, if not the first, comments on my pics. :) ) So, in a moment of bravery, i started chatting Him up. i gave Him my contact information off-site, and He pounced on it. Over the next two days, we chatted, our flirting getting deeper, more serious, and then, we made love. (It might have been cyber-sex, but trust me, it was love-making just the same.) We each confessed we had loved one another from afar for a long time, and from that day on, we’ve been together. (Well, there were a couple days we weren’t technically, which i’ll talk about in another post.) And so, at that time, i became His girlfriend, and would remain that until June. June was when i stepped into slavedom, which took a lot of effort for me, as i had been in a very damaging D/s in the years prior, and also because i take my role so very seriously. i’m going to give that it’s very own post though.

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my name

Posted on 26th October 2011 in Personal

Hi! i’m bella, have i mentioned that? If not, i sincerely apologize…sometimes i get ahead of myself!

bella hasn’t always been my name. In fact i’ve been bella a relativity short time.
You see, bella is my slave name. Well, part of it, more properly, it is belladonna. (And even that isn’t even my full name,if the truth be told! my Master loves names, both of the pet and proper varieties.)
Before i was belladonna, i was Donna. When my Love came along, He called me “My Bella Donna” quite often. i loved it, no one had ever called me anything like that before in my life. And then the time came, when i became my Master’s slave, a story unto itself that i will tell another time. There was a period of time, where we were “unofficial”…we were Master and slave, and referred to each other as such, but we hadn’t yet taken our formal vows to one another. During this unofficial time, Master told me that when we took our vows, i would receive my slave name. And He told me that if He liked this name well enough, it would supplant my own.
This idea scared me to pieces. i didn’t want to give up my lovely name, that my mother had wanted for me for so long, that i had always lived with and had never been called anything but. my Master mentioned he had, perhaps, a Slavic name in mind for me, enjoying the Slavic-slave connection. And so, i thought, if i am to have a new name, perhaps i can have a say in it. i spent a couple days researching names, both Slavic, and not, and presented a list to Master. He gave no hint, and i had days to wait.
i was impatient…one of my worst traits!…and i pestered Master for a hint.
But none came, and so i had to relax, and try not to worry.
And finally, the night came. We said our vows, and my new name was bestowed upon me. belladonna.
i thought it so beautiful, i cried.
Master loved my new name so much, He asked me to change my name permanently. i happily agreed, though it hasn’t happened just yet.
i really do love my name, and i really do think it’s beautiful.
In fact, it’s literally beautiful…belladonna, does, after all, translate to “beautiful woman.”

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25 things

Posted on 25th October 2011 in Uncategorized

Doing this as part of Submissive Guide’s Blog Challenge!

1. i am a owned, collared, and registered slave.

2. i am a BBW, plus sized, big girl, however ya wanna say it. i’m fat, and i’m proud!

3. i’ve been a slave now for just over four months, and with my Master overall for nearly six months.

4. This is my second D/s-BDSM relationship. The first one went so badly, i nearly couldn’t bring myself to become my Master’s slave. i cowered and cried at the idea at first. i wasn’t a slave before, but i was owned.

5. i love live music of nearly any variety.

6. i met my Master online. We knew each other for months before i jumped in front of Him one night to get His attention. We both quickly discovered we each had deeper feelings for one another.

7. i’m naturally really deeply submissive. i always had the urges, but it took the right person to bring it out of me fully.

8. i’m drawn to all sorts of creative things, even though my talents are limited.

9. One of the things i’ve discovered that i REALLY like that surprised me is being bitten. The idea of it always appealed to me, but then when i had it done….wow!!!

10. i adore the feeling wearing my collar gives me. It gives me a sense of confidence, and ironically, power!

11. i feel freer and stronger now that i’m a slave.

12. i wear glasses, and have since the age of 4.

13. my relationship is currently long-distance, but hoping to change that soon. VERY soon.

14. Two of the best (physical) feelings of being a slave: sitting at my Master’s feet, and having Him pull me to Him to kiss me using the ring on my collar. One just makes me feel happy and content, the other makes me feel VERY wanted and submissive and aroused.

15. i’m totally addicted to Etsy.

16. Sometimes, i like to play like i’m a kitty. It can be very fun, and it is always arousing. It also is a very submissive act for me.

17. i recently had my first experience of being bound. It was with a long chain my Master attached to my collar, and then wrapped around me, and He bound my hands behind me briefly. It was quite exciting and i would very much like to try more.

18. my first memories of BDSM go back to early adolescence, probably around 11 or so. my dad had quite an extensive porn stash (this was pre-computer days, mind you!) and i was going through puberty and it was very interesting to me. i noticed i was often drawn to those stories where women were submissive, where they were simply used.

19. i enjoy having all kinds of pet names, even the dirty ones are often endearing to me.

20. Even though i’m not Gorean (nor is my Master), i find the Gorean positions beautiful. i think my favorite one is belly.

21. Despite being naturally submissive, i have tried my hand at being dominant. It’s exciting to be in that role, but it’s not one i think i could take on full time.

22. i have incredibly sensitive nipples. i could almost be controlled by them.

23. The ritual i go through of submitting to my Master calms me down when my brain’s all frantic.

24. i am a smartass, frisky, enthusiastic, and impulsive. Thankfully my Master loves these qualities in me.

25. The thought of being a slave scared me right up until the second i became one. As soon as i had decided to make that leap, i knew it would all be alright.

Well…this was a very interesting exercise! It took more effort than i had initially thought to come up with twenty-five things, but it was very thought-provoking! Looking forward to the next next challenge!

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